Today I was e-mailing my brother in law who is over seas fighting for our freedom. (LOVE that even though we are at war I can still hear from him regularly, modern technology is amazing!) Danny recently became an Uncle. A 'real' Uncle this time. He's Uncle Danny to our three kiddos, and Uncle Danny to his brothers step daughter, but his brother recently had a baby - Cayden was born in January. (Congrats to all!) I was telling Danny how amazing it is to have kids. It made me think of my little Kohen. My 3 year old fire ball, full of attitude and snuggles. He's been the best sleeper of our 3 littles, and I think he has the biggest case of 'Terrible 3's' I've ever seen! When I met Matt Kersi had just turned 1, she was amazing with her springy blond curls. I LOVED playing dress up with her and putting her hair in a million different smiles. I loved her instantly! Matt and I got pregnant about a month after we were married and had lost our baby at 12 weeks. I know in my heart he was a boy, and he is watching over us from Heaven. When we found out we were pregnant again I was scared, but SOOO excited! I knew Kadyn was going to be a boy, my intuition KNEW he was. I loved him from the moment that second line showed up on that white stick. I felt like I had 'extra' love built up that I wasn't able to share with our first baby. Kadyn had SUCH a personality the entire pregnancy, I really felt like I KNEW my baby boy, long before he entered this world. Our family dynamic was changing, and it was amazing. Kersi went from our little 'toddler' to this mini-person, almost over night! She loved her brother SO much, and he was HER's. She got the nickname 'lil mama' when I was pregnant, always wrapping her babies up, and carrying them everywhere. My favorite was after Kadyn was born and I was nursing him inside Starbucks, and I look over and Kersi has a blanket over her shoulder nursing her baby as well! Time just kept moving along. Kersi turned 6, Kadyn turned 1 and I cried. My little baby was getting so big! The day after we had Kadyn's 1st birthday party we saw that second line on the white stick again and I was SO nervous. How in the WORLD could I manage to love ANOTHER little person?? Am I capable of that much love? Do I have it in me? Where will it come from? During my pregnancy with Kohen I almost felt like I was neglecting him at times, I didn't talk to him as much as I did Kadyn and I was finding being pregnant again seemed more 'normal.' The scary things I had with Kadyn were okay this time around, I knew what to expect for the most part. When Kohen was born, the second I saw his little face I felt how much I was in love with that little boy. He was tiny and precious, and the most handsome skinny little baby I'd ever laid eyes on! He was the best sleeper, the cutest little thing who soon needed his 12 hours. I was a lucky mommy! When his little personality kicked in, oh man! He was all of a sudden a chunky, rolly little guy who was smiling all the time. He has the BIGGEST personality of any little I've ever met. He completely has changed the dynamic of our entire family. He's so smart, it amazes me! He wants to go to school SO bad. He tells me he didn't get to go to school today, in a tone like he's punishing me for not taking him! He is such an amazing little love, who now calls us 'Mom & Dad.' That breaks my heart! Thanks to my little Toey Man, I have NO worries about how I will love Gracie. There is more than enough room in my heart to love her to pieces, and I know she's got three siblings who love her just as much as Matt & I do. Kohen talks to her daily. I think Gracie will recognize his voice before she does anyone else. I know Gracie will again change our dynamic and our little world, and I know it will be for the better, and I truly feel I have Kohen to thank for that. He has taught me so much, I don't think he will ever know how he changed me as a mommy. Mom loves you Kohen Kim.
My favorite 'Kohen Quote' recently;
(He is saying prayer at dinner)
'Thank you for my food and my fam-a-lee. And thank you for my names Kohen.'
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